Thursday, February 05, 2004

Give Me Just A Minute

Holy Crap! Charlie is sending people over here to LEARN something! I gotta get this place cleaned up!

What on earth can I teach you people that you haven't already learned from those older and/or wiser than me?

Of course, Dan's always a good teacher too I think. (Of what, I'm not exactly sure.)

OK...so what can I teach you? Let's see...

A pound of feathers weighs EXACTLY the same as a pound of bricks.

Baltimore is the only city to have two different sports teams with the same nickname relocate there. (The St. Louis Browns became the Baltimore Orioles and later on the Cleveland Browns became the Baltimore Ravens.)

They like to arrest tourists who are stupid enough to gamble when they're underage in Deadwood, SD.

Tying a string to a locust is cheaper than buying a radio-controlled airplane.

Lightning bug rings have no resale value.

The actor who played Cooter on The Dukes of Hazzard went on to become a U.S. Senator (or Representative, I'm not totally sure).

Plaid pants and striped shirts rarely make a positive fashion statement.

There is no way to be "good" at roulette.

The boy Wonder Twin always had to turn into some form of water and the girl Wonder Twin always had to be some kind of animal.

We interrupt this important education session so that I can put my kids to bed...

OK class...settle down...it's time to learn again. (Have I mentioned...DAMN YOU CHARLIE!!!)

Baseball is the only sport where the ball doesn't do the scoring. (Basketball goes through the net, golf ball goes in the cup, football crosses the goal line, hockey puck enters the net...you get the idea...if you don't...just go over to study hall.)

Facetiously is the only word where all five vowels (and "y") appear in sequential order.

Space Ghost rocks.

Cinnamon rolls.

My old boss' maiden name was Wendy Thomas...the same name of the girl the Wendy's fast food chain is named after.

I have three kids and all of them were born 7 weeks early.

Chandler Bing's middle name is Muriel.

I can kick your ass at Monopoly.

Whew!

OK...if you haven't learned anything by now, then there's nothing else I can do for you.

Have a good night!

Until Next Time...

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